An Under-Addressed Topic: Grief by Hillary Beth

Recently a woman shared that she had gone to a popular bookstore chain in search of resources on grief geared toward children. Surprisingly, there was very little available, but the recommendation given was to go to the local Family Christian store, which did have a few options.

Grief is a part of life that we all face at one time or another, to one degree or another – whether we would like to talk about it very much, or not. Often we grieve over not only those loved ones we have lost, but also we grieve over all of the dreams and life goals that death leaves unfulfilled. Psalm 57:1 pleads, “Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.” In the middle of grief, it may seem like the darkness will never pass.

There are so many different stages, which may cycle or repeat in some manner, that we go through in grief, and while no one will grieve exactly the same way, or for the same amount of time, there are healthy ways to grieve, and unhealthy ways. Healthy ways to deal with grief may involve speaking with a trusted friend or circle of friends about our feelings, memories, and decisions – or even a trustworthy professional. There may be other resources, groups, and people we seek out, as well. Unhealthy ways fall into the categories of habits that prohibit our healing, try to punish ourselves for things we regret, or focus so intensely on things we cannot change, that we can no longer see anything but our situation – including the good things that God brings into our lives even while we are still in our season of grief. Ultimately, though, our response–even in the middle of our deepest grief–is to be to turn to God for comfort and peace. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 tells us that Christians can have hope in grief, especially the kind relating to death, because of Jesus: “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”

While that doesn’t mean we don’t feel pain, or even that we would feel pain differently – it does mean that our eyes are lifted to above this moment in time, above these circumstances and situations that we will walk through, and above the perhaps overwhelming feelings and thoughts – to see that God has not left us, that we still can trust Him, and that Jesus, who also has dealt with death, has conquered even death! As we come to see who God is and what His work is all about in our lives more clearly, we can see purpose, be healed, and continue to walk through our journey of life, even through intensely raw emotional seasons.